Stupid retard idiot means one thing: kagome
by chaosjudgment
Summary: KAGOME BASHING randomness
1. Naraku escaped

Inuyasha and the others confronted Naraku. "This is pay back, for kikyou!" Inuyasha yelled.

"I shall avenge father and Kohaku!" Sango exclaimed.

"I will send you to hell!" Miroku said.

Shippo wasn't there because he died of Kagome's kiss. As we all know, Kagome was attempting to be serious but, was picking her oversized nose. Everyone gave a disgusted look.

"Now, back to business." Inuyasha said, turning his attention towards Naraku.

Everybody but Kagome released a powerful attack. Kagome was supposed to finish him off, but she was busy eating a booger she found on the ground. "Inuyasha, your wench has ruined your plans once again! Hahahahahahaha!" With that said,Naraku escaped.

"Great job idiot! We could have killed Naraku!" Inuyasha yelled with frustration.

"awe, I love you too Inuyesher!" Kagome said.

"It's INUYASHA RETARD!" Inuyasha screamed ready to kill Kagome.

"Sit!" Kagome said.

"I'm going to kill you-SIT BOY" Thud! Inuyasha fainted.

"When Inuyasha awakes, tell him I'm in my time! And if he wants me tell him to opolagize." Kagome said. Kagome then left.

"What does opolagize mean?" Sango asked.

"I think she means apologize." Miroku said.

A/N: Next chapter will be longer.


	2. Shippo the brave one

Chapter 2: Shippo the brave one

Note: this chapter explains poor Shippo's death and it has his funeral.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha, if I did; Kagome would DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!

Shippo was standing by the bone eater's well, with a walkie talkie in his hands. 'Why did Kagome have to cover the well with her boogers?' Shippo thought. 'We could have destroyed the well by now! Stupid Inuyasha can't stay in it's time period! He says he doesn't like it. We in this time period could be freed if he did.'

Just then, its ugly oversized yellow backpack came into view.

"CODE RED, CODE RED!" Shippo yelled into the walkie talkie.

In Kaede's village…

It was peaceful until they heard "CODE RED, CODE RED!"

The village went into chaos.

"Calm down, we will escape!" Kaede yelled.

"How?" asked a villager.

"Shippo, brave Shippo, will distract her so we can escape." Kaede said gratefully.

With Shippo…

It came out of the well. "SHIPPO! GIVE ME A KISS!" It yelled.

"No, not the kiss of- noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Shippo screamed.

The scream echoed into the village.

"Shippo!" Sango, Miroku and Inuyasha yelled. All three of them ran to the bone eater's well, but it was too late.

Shippo was being killed by Kagome! Her kiss… did him in.

"Bastard!" Inuyasha yelled. Sango cried. Miroku glared at Kagome. Shippo's body lay limp on the ground.

"Inuyasha!" It yelled.

Inuyasha was pissed. He broke off a tree branch and hit Kagome back into the well. They got Shippo's body and carried it to Kaede's village.

"My children, how-" her eyes widened at the site of Shippo. "no, he can't be…"

"Yes, I'm sorry to say." Inuyasha said.

"We must, have a funeral for him today." Kaede said.

At Shippo's funeral service…

"He was brave, brave enough to protect us from that plague Kagome. But he is gone now. We shall remember you, Shippo! You will never leave our hearts!" Kaede preached. Everyone said something nice about Shippo. Then they burned him.

"Goodbye, Shippo, we will always remember you!" The villagers said, putting flowers on his grave. Sango and Miroku went to put flowers on his grave and pray. Even Inuyasha put flowers on it. This was the worst day in history.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Can she get any stupider?

"Dear diary," Kagome said in a shrill voice, sounding as if a banshee were saying these words. "The stupid dead priestess isn't dead yet. I don't understand how Inuyasha can love it! I mean, I'm everything she's not! I'm pretty, thin, not stinky, loved by everybody, and I'm intelagentent."

"Kagome, it's intelligent, not intelagentent!" Sango corrected.

"hwo asked your opinion?" she asked.

Sango slapped herself, remembering that it was useless to try to correct her (A/N: did you notice Kagome's mistake?).

Before Inuyasha could say anything mean to Kagome, the spirit of Shippo said:

"YOU DAMN HO, YOU KILLED ME!" he screamed. "YOU'RE A SMELLY PIRATE WHORE! GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND!"

Shippo vanished, leaving Kagome in tears.

"Isn't he the cutest thang? The words he said really made me happy!" She said through sobs. "He really captured my personality!" She yelled.

"He sure did." Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango said in unison.

The next day...

Kikyou walked down a path, her Shindimachu at her side.

'Naraku.' She thought. 'What is he doing in Kaede's village?' her Shindimachu carried her off to the village.

Kaede's village

"You didn't come to my birthday party!" Naraku cried. "I spent all day crying! I even had to send the clown back!" He sobbed.

"That's because nobody likes YOU!" Kagome said.

"Oh no you di-in't sista!" Naraku exclaimed. "You wanna fight?"

"Bring it on, beeyatch!" Kagome said.

Naraku and Kagome started to brawl. Naraku charged Kagome and tackled her down. He then slapped her across the face multiple times. When Kagome got up, she bitch-slapped Naraku. They continued this for half an hour until an arrow whizzed past their heads.

"Kinky-hoe!" Kagome said. Kikyou paid no attention to Kagome's remark.

"Naraku, why are you here?" Kikyou asked.

"Because nobody came to my birthday party!" Naraku yelled.

"Naraku, you have lived for a long time... now your life ends here!" Kikyou yelled.

"You'll miss! Let me!" Kagome shrieked. She boody bumped Kikyou so her arrow missed and almost hit Inuyasha.

Kagome readied the bow and arrow and let go.

It hit something, but it wasn't Naraku, it was Inuyasha's arm.

"You bitch!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Ha ha, my arrow actually hit something." Kagome said.

As everyone argued, no one noticed that Naraku had disappeared.

"Naraku has escaped." Kikyou said.

"This is all your fault!" Kagome yelled.

Instead of arguing, Kikyou was about to bandage Inuyasha's arm, but Kagome pushed him out of the way.

"I can do it!" Kagome yelled.

"No you can't!" Inuyasha said in a cold voice.

"SIT BOY!" The banshee screamed.

Inuyasha was plunged into the ground.

"Why I outta—" Inuyasha began before Kagome yelled sit again.

"I need a bath!" Kagome said.

"Yes, you do." Miroku said, hiding his nose.

"OKAY! SANGO, LET'S TAKE A BATH!" Kagome yelled.

"No!" Sango said in a disgusted voice.

"Fine, more water for me!" Kagome said in a sassy voice.

When Kagome got into the springs, it was clear. When she came out, it was brown.

"What a relaxing bath!" She said. "Now to sleep!"

As she leaned her misshapen body against a tree, it immediately fell over because of her weight.

"I hate her acne and wart infested face!" Sango said.

"Where's Kikyou?" Inuyasha asked.

"Maybe this note will explain." Miroku suggested.

The note read: If you ever want to see Kikyou again, you, Inuyasha must bring the following to my slumber party: Sesshomaru, Kouga, Rin, Jaken, Yourself, Sango, Miroku, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Ayame! Absolutely NO Kagome!

--Naraku

"Fuck" Inuyasha thought.


	4. recruiting party members

Sorry I'm not updating! My flammers are keeping me busy! Well here is my next chapter!

" Oooohhhh, tough luck." Miroku said. "I don't see how you're going to get all these people.

"Well you two are coming, right?" Inuyasha asked.

"I'm going to be injured that day." Miroku said, reaching for a knife.

"Oh no you don't!" Inuyasha yelled. "And Sango, Kohaku is going to be there!"

"Kohaku." Sango, said thinking if Kohaku really was important enough to go to His party. "Alright, we'll go." Sango said.

"We will!" Miroku asked, horrified.

"Thanks guys!" Inuyasha said. "Now, first on our list……

Naraku's castle…….

"You're just going to adore my party!" Naraku shrieked, half as bad as Kagome.

"mmmmph….mmmmph mmmmph!" kikyou yelled, but was muffled by the piece of cloth that was gagging her.

"Yes kikyou, it's necessary for you to be bound and gagged. Naraku said, annoyed.

That was not what kikyou was trying to say, this is: I hate you! You smell, and right now, I'm deciding whether I should like Kagome more than you! I also know your party will suck!

"Kagura, get the drinks, cake and foods! Kanna, get your Dvds and mirror! Naraku squealed.

"Cake and food is the same thing, you do realize that, right Naraku?" Kagura asked. "And where are they going to sleep? And, on top of that ,what are they going to sleep on?" Kagura asked.

"Give them this message, Kagura: It will explain everything." Naraku orderd.

"Yes…Naraku" Kagura groaned.

On top of Kagura's feather………..

Kagura gazed down, it had been hours, and still no sign of Inuyasha, or his friends.

When she was about to give up she, she finally found them. Quickly tying the message to a rock, she threw it at Kagome's face, hitting her square in her jaw.

"Heehee!" Kagome laughed.

"Well, what does it say?" Miroku asked

"It says….: Inuyasha, you and your friends are responsible for your own sleeping mats. Also, bring one for Kikyou.

-Naraku

P.S Don't forget NO KAGOME!

"What an ass!" Sango yelled.

"Tell me about-"Inuyasha began before he was cut off by Sesshomaru.

"Inuyasha, what is troubling you? Anything I can do to help?" He said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Well actually, you can!" Kagome said, very stupidly (as she always does)

"Idiotic girl, did anyone tell you to speak?" Sesshomaru asked, disgusted

"Forget her we need you to go with us, to Naraku's party." Inuyasha said.

"Alright, I shall go. But, you must do something for me in return." Sesshomaru said, smirking.

"Fine, I'll do it once we're out of the party, okay?" Inuyasha said.

A few hours later…………….

"Damn it!" Inuyasha yelled. "It has been hours …its like he is trying to avoid us!"

"Well, with this thing," Sesshomaru said, pointing at Kagome, "I don't see why he wouldn't" He said, sarcastic once again.

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Inuyasha yelled.

"How dare you speak to lord Sesshomaru that way, you stupid, filthy, hanyou!" Rin yelled.

"You little-" Inuyasha was cut off by Kagome's shrill voice:

"I sense a sacred jewel shard!"

"Wow, the idiot was the first one to find out I was here." Kouga said.

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru smirked.

"Actually, we new you were there the whole time…. In fact, we were counting on you to be in that exact spot." Inuyasha laughed.

"What –" Kouga began, before having a cage drop on him. "Damn you!" He yelled.

"Now," Sesshomaru said looking at Hakaku and Ginta. "Will we have to beat you up, or will you come the easy way."

"EASY WAY!" They both yelled at the same time.

"Good…" Sesshomaru said.

"I KNEW IT! YOU ARE GAY! LET GO OF MY KOUGA RIGHT NOW! RAPE! RAPE! HOMOSEXUAL RAPE! Ayame screamed.

"I am not gay! And, we only want Kouga to go to Naraku's party. We also need you to come. And If you don't come, we'll make you spend three weeks with it!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Oh. Okay. As long as I get to stay in the same cage my Kouga is in." Ayame said, embarrassed.

"Ummm……Ayame?" Sango asked.

"yes?" Ayame said, trying to get in to the small cage Koga was in.

"What were you doing in that tree? You know, the one Kouga was under?

Ayames face went pale. "Not stalking Kouga, yep that's it, not watching Kouga's every move..!"

"Ooooooooooookkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy." Inuyasha said, lets just go and buy our mats.

"What! That bastard makes us go to his dumb party, and then, we have to buy something to sleep on! That cheap ass!" Ayame exclaimed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

After buying there mats, it was time to get rid of …it. They led Kagome to the well, and then Inuyasha took out a piece of chocolate.

"Want chocolate, huh? Does the little it want chocolate?" Inuyasha said.

Kagome nodded her head.

"Fetch!" Inuyasha yelled, throwing the piece of chocolate into the well.

She immediately jumped into the well, causing her to go back to her own time.

"Now we go to Narakus party."

KAGOME LIKERS, try not to sound stupid! At least make a good point. You are the one who is reading a Kagome bashing fic. And don't give me this "Kagome isn't like this" crap. It's called FANFICTION not get as close to the fucking anime as you can.

And don't be hypocritical. Most of you hate kikyou, and write kikyou bashing fics.

So FUCK OFF!

-chaosjudgement.


	5. Naraku's crappy party

Thank you! All of you. Please stay loyal to me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha …..

Warning: Severe Kagome bashing. Kagome lovers beware

On with the story……

At Naraku's party….

"Alright!" Naraku screamed with enthusiasm. "Now that all of you are here, we can start the games! The first game is called "doctor"!"

"How do we play doctor?" Rin asked, a bit creeped out.

"That is a good question. First, you get a 100 acre wood animal." Naraku said, holding pooh bear up, for an example. "Then, you get a surgical knife, and slice its tummy open." He sliced open pooh's stomach.

"You bitch!" Pooh yelled. "I'm still alive! I'm gonna beat your ass to the ground. Code 13256559617868!"

All the 100 acre wood creatures came out of no where, and started to beat Naraku half to death.

Two hours later….

The animals finally left, leaving Naraku in tears.

"This is pretty pathetic." Inuyasha whispered to Miroku.

"Yep."

Another two hours later.

Naraku finally stopped crying, and was now ready to move on with the next game.

"Okay, we will be" Naraku was rudely cut off by Inuyasha.

"No, we won't! Now that I have kikyou with me, we will all be leaving!" Inuyasha said smugly.

"No, you will not." Naraku said quietly. "If you choose to leave, you will be forced to drink this." He held a small pink vile.

"And what exactly is that?" Inuyasha asked.

"A love potion." Naraku answered.

"And we would be afraid of that why? Are you going to make us love you?" Kikyou questioned.

"Because… it'll make you love Kagome." Naraku smiled, happy to see their reaction.

"Y-you w-wouldn't, w-would you?" Sango asked, clearly frightened.

"Yes, yes I would," Naraku said, "now, will you cooperate?"

"YES!" They all yelled.

"Good. Now, we will all choose one game, starting with you Ayame." Naraku said.

Three hours later…….

Kouga gasped as he came out of the closet.

"MY GOD! AYAME, WHEN IS IT THEIR TURN!" He yelled, pointing at the rest of them.

"They can all play fifteen hours of heaven when I am done with you!" Ayame retorted.

"BUT IT'S BEEN TWENTY-SIX HOURS!" Kouga yelled.

"SHUT UP!" Ayame yelled, and pulled him back in.

Kikyou cringed. _Poor Kouga. _Kikyou thought._ Well, at least I'm not the one in there. But still…I must find a way out..._


	6. The End

I'd like to thank all of my reviewers (yes, even Flammers) for staying loyal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha; if I did there wouldn't be any kagome and kikyou wouldn't be so… cruel. Any way, on with the story…

In Kagome's time…

Kagome's mom was cooking dinner, when a pinkish glow emulated from the well.

"Oh no! It's back!" she shrieked.

"Mom,….. it can't be, she's too preoccupied with Inuyasha, she wont becoming back any time soon." Souta said.

She pointed to the well again, and sure enough, the fat cow was coming strait towards them.

"Quick, behind the couch!" Grandpa Higurashi yelled.

They all hid, waiting in horror. Then, the door slowly opened.

"MA! I'M HOME! MAKE MME A HOT BATH SO I DON'T STANK ANYMORE!" It screeched.

"Souta, you know what to do…" Mrs. Higurashi said.

Souta nodded and stood up.

"There you are, Souta!" It screeched.

Souta cleared his throat, and said; "You have reached the Higurashi residents. We are not available at the moment, so please leave now and burn in hell, Kagome."

"Oooohhh, I just missed them! Oh well, I'll be back soon." She said.

When she left, they all took a relived sigh.

Back in the feudal era…

Kikyou wiped her mouth. She was going to make Ayame pay for choosing this game.

"What is the matter Kikyou? Isn't my hanyou brother any good at kissing?" Sesshomaru smirked.

"Shut up!" Inuyasha said, blushing.

"Well, enough of that game! Kikyou, it's your turn to pick the game." Naraku said.

"Okay, let us play "hide and seek"." She said.

With kagome…

Kagome emerged through the well, well, actually, she only half emerged from the well, because she was so damn fat. With lots of struggle, and the five pounds of butter she kept in her pocket, she finally got free.

"Ha! And they said it was stoopid to keep butter in my pocket!" Kagome laughed. "Oooohhh, what are those pretty lights!"

She pointed to kikyou's soul collectors, who were currently holding souls. With her big fat hands, she grabbed the soul collectors. Try as they might, they could not get free from her grasp. So, they had to carry her to Naraku's castle.

Naraku's party………….

Kikyou fell over, the lack of souls finally getting to her.

"Kikyou!" Inuyasha yelled. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Lack… of… souls… can't… move … much… longer…!" Kikyou said.

Just then, all of kikyou's soul collectors came in, with one unwanted guest with them.

"Yo, bitch! Did I tell you that you could come!" Naraku asked.

"I no need no smelly invitation to come to some party, whore!" Kagome shot back.

"Oh, no you di'int!"

"I think I did!"

"Bitch, it is on; Yo mamma is so ugly, when she entered an ugly contest, she got turned down because they said sorry, no professionals."

"Yo mamma is so ugly, I mean so ugly, she has to wear two paper bags!"

"Yo mamma is so stupid; she puts lipstick on her head, so she can make up her mind"

"Yo mamma is so stupid; she takes a ruler to bed to see how long she sleeps!"

"Yo mamma is so stupid; she copies off of your test!"

(A/N: I got most of this from Billy and Mandy)

"Oooohhh, you just got shut down!" All of the party members said.

Kagome then jumped Naraku, and had a similar fight like the first time.

Two hours later….

"Where did everyone go?" Naraku asked.

"I believe they left during your fight with… it." Kagura said.

"I guess there is always next year." Naraku sighed.

With the Inuyasha group…

"That was so hilarious!" Sango said.

"I know!" Inuyasha agreed.

"I still don't believe Naraku lost to Kagome!" Miroku said.

"Kikyou!" That shrill voice could only belong to one person, Kagome. "Inuyasha belongs to me, not you!"

"………"

"I do not!" Inuyasha yelled.

"Quiet." Kikyou said, glaring at Kagome.

"I'll fight for him!" Kagome yelled.

"I do not want him." Kikyou said to Inuyasha's horror. "But, no deserves a fate that bad." Kikyou said.

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAGGGGGGGGGGG!" Kagome yelled, charging at Kikyou.

Kikyou sighed, and side stepped, so that kagome went strait off a cliff.

"Fool." She said.

So in the end, kagome died, kikyou got her soul back, and everyone lived happily ever after.

The End.

OR IS IT!

Hahahahaha! It is finally the end! Well, sort of. I'll write a sequel to this, but, it will have crossovers! It is called ultimate crossover tournament. Read it to find out what it is about.


End file.
